A LITTLE CONTEXT:
I have been engaged in some form of non-traditional relationship for as far back as 2008. I have been talking with couples about their non-traditional relationships….for-ever. Life, has been a tremendous learning curve.
Among the most important things I’ve learned is there are no clear definitions, no well-trod boundaries, no tried and true ways of doing things. There is no ‘right’ in a non-traditional arrangement.
There is only what feels right to you.
Each person needs to find for themselves what best meets their needs and what best serves their relationship.
But there are lots of great questions to ask and inquiries to have and curiosities to explore. It is an illuminating conversation.
COUNSELING FOR INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES:
The world of non-traditional relationships is achieving national notoriety right now, Newsweek, The New York Times, major publications acknowledging for the first time that people are living and exploring relationships in non-traditional ways. Of course people have always explored in non-traditional ways, but it is finally possible to have the conversation out loud.
We haven’t had it before now because our tendency as a culture is to fall back on what we ‘know,’ what feels safe and familiar, meanwhile projecting our hurt and confusion on to one another, on to our friends and partners.
As we ‘open-up,’ it’s so important to understand what is ‘my stuff’ and what is ‘my partners stuff,’ so real conversations can happen. One of my primary jobs as a counselor is to faciliate these conversations and help make clear distinctions.
If you happen to already be down the road of a non-traditional relationships, your experience helps quite a bit. But things also build-up over time; unspoken hurts, quiet resentments, things you may be feeling ‘aren’t allowed to felt’ because you’re open, or because you have an agreement in place. Our counseling relationship creates a container where all of this can be talked about safely and openly.
Good communication is crucial in any relationship, but even more so if you’re going to take on the very difficult areas of jealousy, possession, control, rejection, and abandonment, some of the core wounds of the human experience.
I will help you to hear what your partner is wanting to communicate. I will also help take the pressure off of you having to say everything ‘right,’ so you can simply speak from your heart, or from your anger, or from wherever you’re authentically at.
We will unpack challenging areas, and shed light on parts of yourself and relationship you may be having difficulty accepting.
My style of counseling is engaging and direct, and possibly challenging, as I invite you to consider new behaviors, new ways of communicating, and showing up to yourself and one another with center, confidence, and possibility.
Here are some things I ask you to consider before we meet:
- What is Healthy Communication?
- What does it mean to have an ‘Agreement?’
- What are Boundaries
- What does it mean to ‘meet’ my partner
- How do I share authentically with family and friends
- What does it mean to me to be Ethical? What is Transparency?
- How do I keep my eye on the ball of my partner?